


The Dullest Knife

by aweewah



Category: Bandom, Bring Me The Horizon, Paramore, Real Person Fiction, You Me At Six
Genre: Comfort, Crying, Drama, F/M, Hate to See Your Heart Break (song), Hayley needs all the hugs, Hayliver, Heartbreak, Hurt, I am so sorry, Joshley, Love, M/M, Oleever, Parafamily, Ruining Ships, Sad, What Have I Done, but things work out in the end, flintceschi - Freeform, ruining all the ships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-28
Updated: 2014-06-28
Packaged: 2018-02-06 13:39:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1860051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aweewah/pseuds/aweewah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This wasn’t fair and he knew it.</p><p>She was in the corner, hugging her knees to her chest and unable to speak because the only sound that escaped her lips were the gasps of breaths she took as she sobbed. Near her feet were dozens of crumpled photos from happier times and used tissues that had tried to clean the tears that continued to fall from her eyes. Then there was him, beside her to pick up the pieces and wishing he could’ve done anything to stop her from hurting. But he couldn’t have prevented this, no matter how much he wanted to. She never saw this coming and neither did he. How were they to know?</p><p>How were they to know that the two people she loved so dearly would throw her away as if she were nothing but some fucking piece of trash?</p><p>She didn’t deserve this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dullest Knife

It’s been a week.  
  
A week had passed and after convincing himself that giving her some space was something he could no longer do, he got his ass off the couch and drove to her house. For the past few days, he had tried to reach her through her cell phone, only for the calls to go straight to voicemail and it left him no choice but to leave messages and hope she’d respond. So far, he had received nothing and when he had asked the others if they had talked to her, they would shake their heads and tell him no. None of them had spoken to her or seen her since...  
  
He grimaced at the memory of when he last saw her. That was a day he didn’t want to remember. A day none of them really wanted to remember or speak of ever again.  _She_ , out of all of them, wanted that day to fade into existence and he knew how much she wanted it to just disappear. How she would do anything to bury it so that it wasn’t even a memory. It would be like it never happened.  
  
If only it had never happened.  
  
Her car was parked in the driveway, so he knew she was home. As he walked up the path that led to the front door, he stopped to look at her vehicle. The poor thing was collecting dirt; obviously it hadn’t been washed for days. That also meant she hadn’t left the house. The windows were stained with fingerprints and a few leaves had fallen from the tree branch above, covering it in even more of a mess. The bumper had a few empty spaces where some stickers had once been, but not anymore. He looked closely at the traces of the removed stickers and from what he saw, he understood why she had pulled them off. Those stickers had once been gifts, but she no longer wanted them.  
  
Eventually, he walked up to her door and knocked a few times. She didn’t answer, which was what he expected. He knocked and waited one more time before coming to the conclusion that she wasn’t going to be coming to the door anytime soon. So he took out the spare key she had given him and went inside.  
  
The whole place was dark. All the blinds on the windows were drawn and he adjusted some of them to let in a little bit of light. Not only was it dark, but the place was also a mess. On the couch was a disheveled blanket and the pillows that were supposed to be neatly placed on it were scattered on the floor. Dishes were piled in the sink and he even had to make sure he watched his step because not only was there broken glass in the kitchen, but on the carpet as well. Then he noticed the walls. Some picture frames had been taken down and there was even a dent on the wall, which was the result from one of the frames that had apparently been thrown at it, if the one with shattered glass on the floor was anything to go by. That just created more of a mess he had to cautiously walk around and he just shook his head, telling himself that this was the least of his worries. It was best he try to find her.  
  
He found her in her room and it appeared to be even darker than the rest of the house. Turning on the light, he was finally able to see where she had been this whole time. She was at the far end of the room, sitting in the corner that was right beside her nightstand. Her knees were to her chest and she had buried her head in them while her arms were locked around her legs. He walked around the bed and dropped to his knees in front of her. Once he was up close, he swallowed hard and tried to keep his composure. Though that proved to be a difficult task when he listened closely and heard her muffled sobs, finally hitting him that she was truly and utterly broken and far worse than he thought.  
  
He reached out and was close to putting a hand on her shoulder, but stopped himself from doing so. Biting his lip, he slowly lowered his arm and tightened his hand into a fist to keep himself from touching her. Instead, he took a deep breath and spoke up to let her know that he was there.  
  
“Hayley?” he said softly. “Hayles, it’s me.”  
  
At the sound of his voice, she looked up and he almost lost it. The tears continued to stream down her face, staining her cheeks that were so raw. Her eyes were swollen and bloodshot, with bags underneath them and surrounded by dark circles. Her hair was tangled and fell in front of her face as if she were using it to hide the fact that she was crying and though she had stopped for the moment, her lips were still quivering and she took small gasps of breath, causing her to hiccup. How was he supposed to keep calm when she looked like  _this_? This couldn’t have been the Hayley he knew. It was like he was looking at a stranger; someone else who was falling apart at the seams. He couldn’t get himself to recognize this girl, but it was clear he just didn’t want to accept that this was really her.  
  
When she lifted her head, she had loosened her arms and he realized that something was in her hand. It was a pair of scissors and she was gripping them tightly. He didn’t hold back this time and immediately took them away from her, putting them aside and checking her wrists. If she  _was_  doing what he thought she was doing, then he had to put a stop to it now before it got worse. However, her wrists were completely fine, free of any cuts and he responded to this by holding her hands and looking her in the eyes.  
  
“The scissors,” he said and his voice cracked, but he honestly didn’t give a fuck about that. “What were you doing with the scissors?”  
  
Her lips parted, trying to speak clearly but she ended up sounding hoarse and the words struggled to come out. “I...I...”  
  
Hayley looked past him, wishing she was in a better state to give him an explanation. Her only way of telling him was to point in the direction of the bathroom. He looked where her small and trembling hand was gesturing to and saw that there was something else on the floor besides the various crumpled photos. It was a trail of what appeared to be bits of white cloth and he moved away from her to find out what the source of them was. When he reached the end of it, his eyes widened at the sight in front of him. The bits of cloth were from a white dress that lay on the tiled floor of the bathroom, shredded and destroyed to the point where it couldn’t even be considered a dress anymore. At seeing the ripped lace and satin, he sighed and couldn’t bear to look at it anymore. It had once been such a beautiful garment and what she had done to it saddened him, yet at the same time he felt that she should’ve done more.  
  
 _She should’ve burned it,_  he thought. Or was he overreacting? Whatever, he didn’t care if he was or not. The point was that he understood why she would do that.  
  
He sat down beside Hayley again and looked sadly at her, the tears once again forming in her eyes because of the pained expression she had caused on his face. He wasn’t supposed to find her like this. He wasn’t supposed to take time out of his day to check on her. He wasn’t supposed to share her pain because he didn’t deserve any of it. Nobody deserved to be hurt but her.  
  
She turned to him and opened her mouth in another attempt to say something. “Taylor. I-I’m sorry. I ruined it...I...”  
  
“Hey, it’s okay.” He carefully brushed a strand of hair out of her face. “I’m here for you. It’s gonna be okay.”  
  
As Taylor wrapped his arms around her, she buried her face into his chest and cried while he whispered soothing words. But that didn’t pacify her cries and ended up doing the exact opposite. At the feeling of him holding her, she began to think back when someone else had held her that way and then she thought of another who would try to calm her with words. These memories made her sobbing even worse and she only held onto him even tighter.  
  
“It’s  _not_  going to be okay,” she told him, her words muffled. “You said the same thing last time and look what happened. How do you know it’ll be okay?”  
  
He didn’t have an answer for her. All he could do was provide comfort and say “sorry” over and over again. Though along with the sadness he felt for her as she fell apart in his arms, he couldn’t help but to also feel anger. Anger toward the ones responsible for reducing his best friend to a sobbing and broken mess. It pained him to see someone who was once so strong and so cheerful get their heart broken.  
  
And it pained him even more to know that not one, but  _two_  people had thrown her aside and considered her nothing.  
  


  
_There is not a single word in the whole world  
that could describe the hurt_

  
It started seven years ago in 2007. For Hayley, that was the year that had become known as “the year when everything changed”. So many things happened and shaped her life into what it was now.  
  
First, her band had released their sophomore album,  _Riot!_ , and once it came out, more people found out about them. She was no longer just a girl from Nashville and had become known as one of the strongest female vocalists around. The whole country and soon the whole world knew about her and it was pretty surreal that all these people saw her as a role model.  
  
Which led to the second big event. With all the media discovering Paramore, all the attention was on Hayley, much to her dismay. All her life she wanted to be in a band with her friends because it was something they loved and they were all involved, making music together. But of course, since she was the only girl and the lead singer, the tabloids only focused on her. The only person other than her who also got some focus was Josh Farro, the guitarist and second songwriter of the band. The problem was that they didn’t care about all he did for the band. They didn’t bother to ask him how long he had been playing the guitar or what inspired him to write songs. The only thing they seemed to care about was the fact that he was dating Hayley.  
  
She had tried to keep their relationship a secret to prevent that from happening, but people still found out. That caused her to eventually break up with him because it wasn’t going to work out and it was all for the sake of the band. They were better as friends, thus ending their three year relationship.  
  
Soon after that happened, they had toured with another band and that was when the third biggest event occurred. The one she now thought of as a mistake.  
  
They were a band from the UK and were pretty interesting. Some of their antics were pretty odd and she didn’t quite know what to think of them at first, but they all got along well pretty fast. Out of these five guys, she was drawn to the singer and she actually didn’t expect to become so close to him.  
  
The day before the tour started was when the two bands met and he was the first one who decided to speak to her.  
  
“H-hey.” He had greeted her with a smile. “Looks like we’re going to be touring together for the next few months, so I, uh, I thought I’d go ahead and get to know my new tour buddies.”  
  
She giggled. “Tour buddies, huh? I like that.”  
  
“Oh, uh, thanks,” he muttered.  
  
He was pretty tall, especially compared to her and his dark hair was shaggy and slightly covered his face, some strands even sticking up. His eyes were big and round, which definitely captured her attention, nearly mesmerizing her and he had a smile that made her question why she didn’t expect them to talk much. Then again, he acted differently around her than when he was around his bandmates. She had seen the way he behaved with his friends. He was a little crazy; a little loud even. Making all sorts of jokes and goofing around with his “mates”.  
  
But when he came face to face with her, he was shy and had a sort of nervous tic. Whenever he didn’t know what to say, he’d scratch his head and mess with his hair. He’d also shrug a lot and stuttered once in a while. Still, he was extremely sweet and she was already comfortable around him.  
  
“You’re a pretty cool guy,” she mused. “I can tell we’re gonna be great tour buddies.”  
  
He grinned at this. “Nice to know.”  
  
“I’m Hayley, by the way. Hayley Williams.”  
  
“I’m Josh. Josh Franceschi.”  
  
She admits she was initially drawn to him because she thought he was very attractive, what with those deep blue eyes, that messy hairstyle of his, his amazing vocals, and that accent that made her swoon like most American girls would. Even in her own mind, she thought she seemed like a dork and slightly pathetic but at least she was being honest with herself. She actually confessed it to Josh one day and that made him share with her that he wasn’t so different. The only reason why he walked up to Hayley in the first place really was because of how pretty he thought she was with her orange hair and intricately bright makeup.  
  
But as the days passed, it wasn’t just about looks anymore. She found him to be pretty optimistic and cheeky, making her laugh with his interesting behavior and carefree attitude. Hanging out with Josh during the tour lifted her mood, which had unfortunately been off ever since her break up. Before meeting him, there had been quite a bit of tension between her and her ex-boyfriend, considering they didn’t really want to end things that way and them being in the band together didn’t help matters. They had tried to remind themselves that their friendship was far more important and nothing should get in the way of that, but he was still hurt about it and it showed. They had a few arguments regarding the band and how the public favored Hayley, something that was out of her control. Some nights ended with her even crying and feeling guilty, going so far to wishing she wasn’t even apart of the band anymore.  
  
The past few months had been very stressful and they had managed to get through this rough patch, but that didn’t mean they weren’t distant. Things weren’t as bad, but he still didn’t talk to her as much. Hayley missed how they used to be and despite understanding that it would take some time for them to be back to normal, she still found it hard to smile and enjoy the music scene with that thought in her head.  
  
Josh Franceschi changed all that. Thanks to him, she started smiling again and all the stress and negativity that had overcome her diminished when she was around him. He brought out her fun side that had been hidden for so long and he helped her remember all the reasons why she loved being in a band. She was _herself_  again. The others saw how happy she was and the effect Josh had on her. They were glad that she was feeling better because seeing how quiet and sad Hayley was made it seem like she was a completely different person. It was unsettling, to say the least.  
  
Halfway through the tour, Josh and Hayley were struck with a realization that they should’ve seen since the beginning. That’s where the fourth biggest event occurred and like the previous one, she also considered this another mistake.  
  
It was after one of their shows. Once Paramore was done with their set, Josh took Hayley by the hand and led her away from the others.  
  
“What’s up?” she asked as he continued to take her somewhere that wasn’t surrounded by fans or security. “Where are we going?”  
  
“There’s something I want to give you,” he told her. “But for me to do that, I want to make sure we’re alone first.”  
  
Since the venue wasn’t that big, their options for places to have alone time were very limited. After giving up, they both ended up cramped together in the broom closet. At least they weren’t in complete darkness since this closet had a light, albeit a very crappy and dim one.  
  
It was such a confined place that her back had to be against the wall so he could have some room. They were inches apart and the brooms, mops, and other cleaning products gave them barely any leg room. This was not the best place to be alone, but Josh didn’t want anyone to bother him and this was the only place available.  
  
“So what is it you have to give me?” She looked up at him, hoping whatever he had would be given to her soon because she was feeling claustrophobic.  
  
“The tour’s going to end in a few weeks,” he began. “And that means you and I only have a few weeks to spend time together before we have to go our separate ways for a while, so I...I even wanted to do this sooner, but I...I...”  
  
“Josh, are you okay?” She put a hand on his shoulder, looking quite puzzled.  
  
He cleared his throat and moved his hair out of his face, ignoring the beads of sweat on his forehead. When did he even start sweating anyway? “Yeah, I’m fine. Really fine. Really.”  
  
“Then what did you want to give me?” she asked again. “From what you were saying a moment ago, it sounds like it’s important or something.”  
  
“Important? Well, uh, you see it’s not really important. Okay, maybe it’s kind of important? It’s not even really an item or anything.” Josh scratched his head, indicating he was nervous and that confused her even more. “It’s actually something more than that. It’s uh...ah, fuck it.”  
  
He stopped trying to speak when it was clear he was badly stumbling on his words. Then he took a deep breath, put his hands on her waist, and leaned in to press his lips to hers. Hayley didn’t know how to respond to this as it had been a long time since she’s had someone kiss her like that, but she also didn’t didn’t deny that she was enjoying it. Soon she wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss, kicking some of the stuff on the floor aside so she could be closer to him.  
  
They were both grinning widely at each other when they pulled away. Having a first kiss in a musty old broom closet in a small venue while they were both sweaty and tired from a long night of performing wasn’t the most romantic setting people would’ve wanted, but they were completely fine with it. She really didn’t want it any other way.  
  
“That was...wow,” she breathed.  
  
“I know,” he said. “I had to do that before I had the chance to give up on it and run away. Glad I didn’t.”  
  
“I’m also glad you didn’t.” Hayley smiled and started playing with the collar of his shirt. She looked at him one more time before pulling on his shirt so their lips could meet once more.  
  
In the midst of their makeout session, the door opened and they found themselves face to face with their band members who had been looking for them. Their responses were positive and they began clapping and giving the two a thumbs up, happy that they finally cut it out with the “just friends” bullshit and finally hooked up. As Hayley looked at all of these faces, however, she noticed one face that wasn’t as giddy or excited as the others. They were smiling, but it didn’t reach their eyes and at the time she thought nothing of it. She simply believed they were just tired, but it was more than that. It was  _so much_  more than that and years later she had come to understand why.  
  
This was the face of You Me at Six’s drummer, Daniel Flint.  
  


  
_The dullest knife just sawing back and forth  
and ripping through the softest skin there ever was_

  
After holding her on the floor and letting her cry into his chest for a little bit longer, Taylor picked her up so he could set her down on the bed, wanting her to get some rest because she looked exhausted. It was obvious she hadn’t gotten much sleep that week and though she wanted to give in to slumber, she couldn’t. Each time she closed her eyes, her mind would be filled with images of  _them_. Memories of events that occurred a few years ago. Memories of what happened a week ago. She couldn’t even sleep because she was still holding onto all the things she lost. All the things she wanted, but couldn’t have. She just lay there, curled up into a ball and hidden beneath the sheets despite it being summer.  
  
Taylor left her room so he could call Jeremy and tell him how Hayley was doing. To his surprise, Jeremy was already on his way to the house because like Taylor, he had also been concerned for her after not hearing from her all week. He didn’t even bother to knock and without hesitation, he entered her house with his own spare key.  
  
“Where is she?” Jeremy said as soon as he walked in.  
  
“She’s laying down right now,” Taylor answered then put a hand up to stop him from going down the hall where the bedroom was. “I don’t think she really wants to talk to us right now. She’s just trying to sleep and I think that’s best for her since she’s...not looking so good.”  
  
Jeremy frowned and looked away for a moment, his jaw actually dropping when he finally took note of his surroundings. He was so set on getting to Hayley that he didn’t even realize how screwed up the place was. Looking back at his friend, he sighed. “It’s really bad, isn’t it?”  
  
He nodded. “It’s the worst it’s ever been, Jeremy. Look at her  _house_. She’s never done something like this. When I first saw her face, it was a punch in the gut. Her eyes...the way she cried...I just...I can’t stand seeing her this way. What the hell did she ever do to deserve this? How could they do that to her when she fucking loved them?”  
  
“I wish I had an explanation for their actions, but I don’t.” Jeremy shook his head. “I’m just as pissed at them as you are, but we can’t worry about that ‘cause they’re not worth it. All we can do right now is be here for Hayles. She needs us more than ever.”  
  
Taylor’s face softened and he tried his best to relax at Jeremy’s words. This whole situation just fucking sucked and as angry as he was and as much as he wanted to do something about it, Jeremy was right. Hayley’s emotional stability was clearly not in the right place and they couldn’t leave her alone after all that they’ve seen. Besides, they definitely didn’t want to leave her side because together they’ve been through way too much over the years and don’t ever want to abandon each other in times of need.  
  
He leaned against the wall and ran his fingers through his hair. “Yeah, she really does. I just wish I could magically fix things and get her to smile again, you know? What happened to her, what they did to her...it was just so fucked up and she’s so broken up about it. I feel so useless.”  
  
Jeremy looked down the hallway where her door was, which was slightly ajar. “I’m going to check on her. I know you said she’s trying to sleep, but I still feel like I should go in there for a bit. At least so I could let her know that I’m here, too.”  
  
“Okay,” Taylor said. “While you do that, I’m going to clean the place up. All this glass needs to be picked up and the kitchen kind of smells.”  
  
While Taylor headed toward the kitchen to get a garbage bag, Jeremy made his way to her room and made sure he didn’t make too much noise. He slowly opened the door and poked his head in, lowering his voice so that it was almost a whisper.  
  
“Hayles, it’s me, Jeremy. I came over to see you.”  
  
She was laying on her side, facing the door. Her eyes were closed and it actually looked like she was sleeping until her eyes snapped open at the sound of his voice. Judging by how quickly she sat up and how she wasn’t dazed upon getting up, it seemed she wasn’t asleep after all.  
  
“Hi, Jerm.” She forced herself to smile, though she failed miserably and it faded as soon as she fell back on the pillow. Jeremy walked over and sat on the side of the bed near her legs, to which she shifted her body so he had some room. She rolled over so that she was laying on her back and stared up at the ceiling. “I heard you guys talking outside. Taylor shouldn’t feel useless and neither should you. Both of you being here means a lot even though you both didn’t have to.”  
  
“Well, we wanted to come here,” he said. “Look, we’d rather be here for you than anywhere else in the world. There could be some giant robot battle in Japan for all we care and we’d still choose you over that.”  
  
She almost smiled. Almost. “Where’s Kat?”  
  
“She’s out shopping for groceries, but she’ll be here later.”  
  
“I don’t know if she should come over.”  
  
Jeremy cocked his head to the side. “Why not?”  
  
“She shouldn’t worry about me, too,” Hayley muttered. “She’s already got Bliss to take care of and Bliss shouldn’t be around me when I’m so messed up.”  
  
“Kat also wants to be here for you,” Jeremy retorted. “And I’m sure Bliss wants to see her Auntie Hayley. We all care about you and you might think you’re dragging us into this, but you’re not. You’re important to us and we’re here to remind you how strong you are and how you can get through this. What happened to you was not your fault and in no way did you deserve it, so stop blaming yourself for all of it. How were you to know?”  
  
“I  _should’ve_  known.” She buried her face in her hands. “I should’ve realized how wrong I was about everything. All this time I didn’t bother to see these things that were right in front of me because I was so stupid. I thought they really loved me. But it wasn’t me. It was  _never_  me.”  
  
Her voice was faltering and it was hard for her to finish that last sentence. Before Jeremy could do anything, she was sobbing again and he quickly went to her side to put an arm around her.  
  
Jeremy started rubbing her back. “You’re not stupid. Not one bit. You’re an amazing person and you know what? It wasn’t you because there’s someone else out there who really loves you and one day you’ll find them. You’ll find them and earn your happy ending. I promise you.”  
  
She stopped crying and for a brief moment it seemed like his words helped. But a smile was still absent and she hadn’t turned to look at him. Slowly, she lifted a hand and placed it on his chest to lightly push him away.  
  
“I just want to be left alone for a few hours,” she said flatly. “Can you please do that for me?”  
  
He was reluctant to do so, but he got up from the bed and headed toward the door. “Okay. Just know that we’ll both be in the living room if you need us.”  
  
Jeremy left the room and closed the door behind him. When he entered the living room, Taylor was currently in the process of putting bits of glass into the garbage bag, stopping when he saw that Jeremy was there.  
  
“She feeling any better?” Taylor asked.  
  
Jeremy gave him a dejected look and just shook his head. Then he wordlessly began placing the pillows back on the couch and helped his friend get rid of all the glass.  
  


  
_How were you to know?_

  
Besides Josh, Hayley had also formed a close friendship with Dan, the lively drummer of You Me at Six and Josh’s best friend. It was usually the three of them hanging out together on the bus or after shows and she had seen Dan as sort of a brother to her.  
  
Ever since the bands caught Hayley and Josh in the closet after deciding that they were going to take the next step and be more than friends, Dan didn’t talk to them as much. He didn’t talk much to anybody, actually. It was odd and everyone wondered what was up with his behavior, but he kept denying he was acting any different and brushed it off every time someone brought it up.  
  
Dan was like that for the remainder of the tour and after that, things just went back to normal. After the tour, Hayley visited the UK to see Josh and she liked that Dan seemed to be in a better mood. He was talkative again and acting the way he had been before he stopped socializing with everyone. But even though he was back to joking around with them and spending time with her, something was still off.  
  
One moment he’d be conversing with Hayley about his drumming and then the next moment Josh would come into the room, sit himself next to her and peck her on the cheek and Dan would get quiet. That’s how it always was. He would be fine talking to Josh alone and he was fine talking to Hayley alone. However, when it was all three of them together, Dan would look uncomfortable.  
  
But that didn’t really phase them. It was completely understandable for him to feel uncomfortable because for one, he was a guy and there was the fact that he was hanging out with his two friends that were dating. It only made sense that he would get tired of being a third wheel. From his perspective, who would have fun talking to your two friends who were too busy sucking each other’s faces? Hayley and Josh  _did_  kiss a lot, so they couldn’t blame Dan for not wanting to be around when that went on. As the years went by, he had gotten used to it and they were all good again. Or they thought they were all good again.  
  
Better yet,  _she_  thought they were all good again.  
  
For the next four years, Hayley and Josh seemed to have the perfect relationship. They’d make sure to visit each other frequently and every time she reunited with him, she’d run to him and leap into his arms. When they toured together, he’d sneak onto her bus and some nights they’d both be laying in her bunk. They would cuddle; his arms around her waist while he kissed her shoulders and whispered “I love you” in her ear.  
  
On stage, she’d ask him to sing with her and after the performance she’d kiss him in front of the audience as they cheered. He wrote her a song and sang it to her when he came down to Nashville for her birthday. They did all these things that many people envied; what most people wanted when it came to romance. She believed herself to be very lucky to have a guy like him and she realized how much she loved him.  
  
Then one day, they made a decision. A decision that was their next big step and Josh brought it up one day when they were in bed together.  
  
“I’ve been thinking,” he began. “We’ve been together for a long time and this has been on my mind for a while.”  
  
She rested her head against his chest. “Yeah? What is it?”  
  
“Why don’t you and I move in together?” he suggested. “I mean, we’ve been dating for four years and we’re always going back and forth. We shouldn’t have to fly seven hours just to be together for a weekend. Why should we be exhausted when we can be living together?”  
  
“You do have a point,” she mused. “But then that brings up the question of  _where_  we’d live together. Would you be coming over to America with me or am I moving to the UK?”  
  
He had already been thinking about that ever since the idea of living with her came into his head. It was a difficult situation since they both had families that they’d be leaving and they had never moved so far away before. While Hayley had moved from Mississippi to Tennessee, that was from one state to another. This time, she would be going to a different country. Josh had moved a few times as well, but like her, he had never moved across the ocean.  
  
Josh looked down at her. “I’ve been thinking about that, too. I know you’re worried about leaving your friends and family and it’s scary moving to a place that’s a thousand miles away from home. Trust me, I’m just as nervous about that as you are and even get a weird feeling in my stomach just talking about it. The thing is you don’t have to worry about any of that since I’ve made up my mind. I’m moving to America with you.”  
  
Hayley lifted her head off him. “Really? You would do that for me?”  
  
He nodded. “I would.”  
  
She leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek. “You’re the best.”  
  
So it was settled. Josh was going to be living with Hayley in Nashville because he knew she still wanted to help out her mother and sisters. Her mom was single and her sisters were still growing up. He didn’t want to take her away from her family that still needed her. Most days he was usually in the states anyway and the people cared for back home had always encouraged him to travel wherever he wanted. It was a choice that worked out for everyone.  
  
Well...not everyone.  
  
He told his band the news and most of them were happy about it and wished him the best. But one of them didn’t take it as well as he thought they would. Their opinion was actually the complete opposite of what he had expected.  
  
Dan was the only one that was opposed to this.  
  
To say he was opposed to this was actually an understatement. Not only did he not approve, but he was straight up  _mad_  when Josh talked to him about it. He thought Dan would be the most supportive, but his friend was trying to convince him that he shouldn’t go through with it instead. This discussion soon became an argument and Josh was starting to get pissed off, too.  
  
“I don’t understand why you’re getting so worked up about this,” said Josh, irritated that it came to this. Fuck, why did it have to come to this? He was not in the mood for yelling at his friend when he should be more worried about packing up all his stuff in his flat. “I’m moving to America, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna be gone forever, Dan. What’s the big fucking deal?”  
  
“I just don’t want you to end up doing something you’ll regret later,” Dan retorted. “Sure, it sounds like a fine idea right now, but I know you, Josh. You make these fucking decisions and they end up being mistakes that you have a hard time getting out of. You chose to move away just like that? What about your family, what about-”  
  
“They’re fine with me going, so stop trying to bring them into this,” Josh seethed. “I’m a fucking adult and don’t need you to control the decisions I make. What the fuck, Dan? You know what, I actually believe that there’s more to the reason why you don’t want me to go.”  
  
Dan looked at him incredulously. “What?”  
  
“That’s it, isn’t it?” Josh’s eyes narrowed. “It’s not because you think I’ll regret it. It’s not about that at all and you know it. It’s about  _Hayley_. You don’t want me to move in with her and you need to tell me why.”  
  
His friend just scoffed. “This is fucking ridiculous.”  
  
“You need to tell me why,” Josh repeated. “What the fuck do you have against her? I thought she was your friend.”  
  
“I can’t believe this.” Dan turned away.  
  
Josh was losing his patience. “Seriously, do you hate her? Stop avoiding my questions and tell me what the fuck is wrong with me moving with Hayley.”  
  
He turned around to face him again and finally said, “I don’t  _hate_  her. I just wish you never fucking met her.”  
  
“What...Why?”  
  
“Because you wouldn’t be with her and then maybe you’d realize that I’m fucking in love with you.”  
  
As soon as the words came out Dan’s mouth, he was immediately hit with the realization that he really confessed the truth he had been holding in this whole time and there was no way he could take those words back. Josh had fallen silent and just gaped at him, trying to process what he just heard and if what he heard was even real.  
  
Dan Flint, his best friend who he had known for years, just told him that he loved him. No, he just told him that he was  _in_  love with him. This was way too much for him to handle and it only piled up on all the stress he had about moving, causing him to have a headache. He raked his fingers through his hair and took a few deep breaths before looking at Dan again.  
  
“You just told me you’re in love with me,” Josh said, backing away from him. “I’m supposed to be packing right now because I’m going to be leaving to live with my girlfriend in a few weeks. But instead I’m trying to fucking understand all of this and it’s driving me crazy. I-I have to go.”  
  
He rushed out the door as quick as possible, focusing on getting to his car so he wouldn’t feel the urge to look back. All he wanted to do was get home and try to sort out his thoughts before he exploded.  
  
Later that night, his head was still hurting and all he could think about was what Dan said. The way his voice had cracked when he said it and how his eyes met Josh’s, tears nearly forming while the tone of his voice went from angry to desperate in seconds. He meant every word.  
  
How was he supposed to even feel? Dan didn’t want him to leave because he was in love with him and basically told Josh that he shouldn’t be with Hayley. But that was his girlfriend and he was set on being with her for a long time. That’s why he was moving. He wanted to go America because he loved her. He loved Hayley and he was sorry he had to do that to Dan, but he didn’t love him like that.  
  
But no matter how many times he said that to himself, he still couldn’t relax.  
  
Did he really love Hayley?  
  
The day he was supposed to leave finally came and Hayley had come down a few days prior to the move to help him. Max had offered to drive them to the airport and Chris and Matt came along since they wanted to say goodbye to Josh one last time because they weren’t going to see him for a few months.  
  
Dan didn’t want to come with them. He hadn’t spoken to Josh since that whole thing happened and despite things being weird between them, Josh was disappointed that he didn’t show up.  
  
So they weren’t really the best of friends at this point. Josh knew that. He still could’ve at least said goodbye.  
  
“Josh?”  
  
Hayley’s voice brought him back to Earth and he looked down at her, giving her a half smile. She had already said her goodbyes to all the guys and gave all of them hugs. This was it. They had to get going soon. He was really doing this. In a few hours he was going to be in Nashville where he’d be away from his home for the first time in years. He’d be away from his band. He’d be away Max, Matt, and Chris.  
  
He’d be away from Dan.  
  
“You ready to go?” she asked, a big smile across her face.  
  
He tried to say something, but he couldn’t and his palms were sweating. This was what he planned and he should be happy and eager to finally be with Hayley. They wouldn’t have to do so much traveling and spend so much money because they’d be living together and he loved her.  
  
But he still thought of Dan. He still thought of how much Dan didn’t want him to go and it finally hit him that he didn’t really want to leave because it became clear that all he really wanted to do was see his best friend.  
  
“No. I’m...I’m not ready.”  
  
Her smile disappeared and gave him a look that was both a mixture of hurt and confusion. “You’re not ready? What do you mean you’re not ready?”  
  
“I-I’m sorry,” Josh stuttered. “I can’t do this. I can’t go through with it.”  
  
She cupped his cheek. “W-why not? This was what you’ve wanted, isn’t it?”  
  
“I thought it was,” he said. “But it’s really not. I’m sorry, Hayley. I really am, but as much as I care about you, you’re not the one I really love and I finally realized that.”  
  
Her face fell and her eyes darted to the ground as she lowered her hand away from his face. She kept blinking as a way to prevent the tears from falling and refused to look up at him. Her hands were shaking and she felt dizzy, making it almost impossible for her to stand up. Inside, her heart was breaking and she clamped a hand over her mouth so she wouldn’t scream out at him:  _Why?_  
  
Why be with her for four years? All those times she fell asleep in his arms, all those years of him whispering sweet nothings to her, all those days she would surprise him with a kiss on the lips. All the memories they shared together, only for him to admit to her that she wasn’t the one. She wanted to ask him. Want him to tell her why she wasn’t the one and who was the one he really loved, but she found out the answer had always been there.  
  
“It’s him,” she whispered, staring up at Josh. “He’s the one you love.”  
  
Josh nodded and sighed. “He is.”  
  
Hayley looked down again when the tears wouldn’t stop. “I understand. Just...go to him. You belong here. You belong with him.”  
  
He took a step forward to give her a quick kiss on the head, only for her to turn away to pick up her bag and walked off. She quickened the pace of her footsteps and kept moving forward because she needed to catch her flight. She also needed to get away from him before he saw that she was breaking down and crying.  
  
When Taylor came to the airport to pick her up, she ran to him in tears while he wondered what went on that caused her to arrive back home alone. He decided to stay at her place so she could tell him the whole story and after hearing everything, he embraced her again while he did what he did best.  
  
“It’s okay,” he kept telling her. “It’s going to be okay, Hayles.”  
  
She hugged him tightly, resting her chin on his shoulder. “I hope so.”  
  
It took her a while to start talking to Josh again; about a year at the most. Nobody expected them to ever talk again after the way things ended, but she didn’t want it to end on a bad note. Josh and Dan were still her friends and she was happy that they finally realized how much they meant to each other even if a part of her was still hurt. Josh, of course, still wanted to make sure she found happiness, too.  
  
So one day, he introduced her to a good friend of his. The first thing she noticed was how this guy was covered in tattoos and like Josh, he was very tall compared to her. His hair was dark brown, his bangs slightly covering his hazel eyes and though he looked intimidating, his friendly smile said otherwise.  
  
“Hayley,” Josh said. “This is Oliver.”  
  


  
_And I hate to see your heart break  
I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close_

  
The living room was starting to look decent again. After an hour or so, all of the glass had been picked up off the floor and was no longer a danger to walk on. It wasn’t easy, but with the help of a broom, a dustpan, and the vacuum, not a single shard was left. It was a good thing they did it quickly because Kat was coming soon and knowing Bliss, she would want to crawl around.  
  
All the pillows that were all over the place were back to being neatly arranged on the couch and the dishes that had been filthy for days were washed and left in the dishwasher to dry. In the middle of their cleaning, Jeremy opened a window to let in fresh air while Taylor threw out the garbage and soon the house was free of the awful smell that had been filling up the whole place longer than it needed to be.  
  
Everything had been cleaned up and they both took a moment to plop down on the couch as a reward for their hard work. Never had sitting down felt so good.  
  
Hayley still hadn’t come out of her room nor did she call out for them, so Taylor got up to check on her. To his relief, she had finally fallen asleep and he silently thanked God that she was getting some rest. Maybe after some sleep, she would be well enough to get out of bed and talk to them.  
  
He looked at the area surrounding her bed and realized that her room also needed to be cleaned. There were still photos everywhere and the bathroom...that dress of hers was still in there. Quietly, he walked inside and began picking up all the mementos and pieces of cloth. He resisted the urge to look at them, very much aware that these pictures were of captured moments that had once been so meaningful and full of joy. They had lost that touch and had sadly become questionable memories, making her wonder if they were really as happy as they were made out to be.  
  
Unsure of what to do with the pictures once they were all gathered, he put them away in the drawer of the nightstand. As for the dress, he decided to put it back in the box that it had been folded away in and placed the box in the back of her closet. She’ll figure something out for it in time. For now, he was going to make sure she didn’t have to look at it.  
  
The bedroom was much easier to clean than the living room was and when it appeared he didn’t have to do anything else, he went out the door. Just as he got out, the doorbell rang and he heard Jeremy call out that he’d get it. Kat had arrived.  
  
When Jeremy opened the door, he was met with a smile from his wife and cheerful coos from his daughter. He greeted them both with kisses and let them in, their presence slightly relieving him from the sadness he and Taylor had been feeling that day. It was nice to see some good, no matter how small the good was.  
  
Kat was holding Bliss with one arm while the other hand held a bag of groceries. She informed the guys that there were still two more bags in the car and Jeremy immediately went out to retrieve them. While she was out shopping, she thought it was best she got some things for Hayley since she had a feeling she most likely hadn’t eaten that much and Kat felt that she could cook dinner while she was there. Though it wasn’t something that could magically solve all the problems, the least she could do was make Hayley feel better with a good meal. She even bought her a carton of ice cream for dessert and it could even double as comfort food.  
  
“How is she right now?” Kat asked as she and Jeremy set the bags on the counter.  
  
“Right now she’s sleeping,” Taylor replied. “I’ve been trying to get her to rest since I got here because she looked so tired. I’m actually surprised she finally knocked out but at the same time I’m glad she did. She really needed to catch up on all the sleep she’s been deprived of this week.”  
  
“When she wakes up, I’ll try to talk to her,” Kat said and turned to Bliss. “And then the little fairy princess will be able to work her magic and make Auntie Hayley feel better. She’ll like that, won’t she, Bliss?”  
  
Bliss responded by making more happy noises and the three of them chuckled at how she was bouncing excitedly in her mother’s arms. When Kat said she could “work her magic”, they didn’t consider that an exaggeration. Since being born six months ago, she had been such a pleasure to be around due to her always smiling, how she didn’t squirm or get upset whenever someone else besides her parents held her, and her overall bubbly personality. With Bliss around, it was impossible for one to stay sad. She was true to her name.  
  
“It might take some time, though,” Taylor told Kat. “She’s in a very fragile state, so we can’t just assume she’ll be in the mood to talk when she gets up.”  
  
Kat nodded, reminding herself that this was the reason why she was there. Taylor’s words reminded all of them. That small moment with Bliss made them forget the situation for a few minutes and once they came back to their senses, they knew that for the time being they were going to make sure they did everything they could to help Hayley get back up on her feet again.  
  
“I can’t imagine what she’s going through.” Kat sighed. “It was supposed to be the best day of her life and this happened. I’m still shocked that he did that. In front of  _everyone_.”  
  
Jeremy shook his head. “We’re all shocked. Life works in some messed up ways sometimes and the worst thing is that the bad stuff happens to people who don’t deserve it.”  
  
“While the assholes get to be happy,” Taylor murmured, propping his elbows on the counter as he leaned against it. “One of these days I’m gonna find those two again and-”  
  
“Hey,” Jeremy interrupted. “Stop saying things like that. Like I said, they’re not worth it.”  
  
Taylor rested his chin in his hand. “This just isn’t fair. They just threw her away without realizing that she has fucking feelings, too.”  
  
Jeremy elbowed him for the language while Kat gasped, not used to hearing him swear because he rarely did it. Luckily Bliss didn’t understand what was going on and just kept laughing. They understood his anger and while they were better at hiding it, they were just as angry..  
  
Here they were picking up the pieces of their friend, hearing her cry and watching her crumble. She was losing it before their eyes while the two people who caused her to be like this were enjoying their “true happiness” that they obtained in exchange for Hayley’s well-being. They didn’t really care about her. They didn’t regret getting her hopes up, only to crush them in a heartbeat. They didn’t even apologize for what they did. Why did they get to run off and live great lives without suffering any consequences from their actions? Because of love?  
  
 _Bullshit._  They didn’t deserve love. Hayley deserved love.  
  
The phrase “life isn’t fair” didn’t even begin to cut it.  
  
“They’ll get what’s coming to them,” Kat assured him. Even though she wasn’t really sure, she had to say something to calm him down. “For now, let’s think of the positive. She’s got us and we’re all here for her; the ones who  _really_  love her. I’m going to cook dinner, so you two need to watch Bliss. Can you do that?”  
  
She handed Bliss to Jeremy and his smile returned. “Yes, ma’am.”  
  
Leave it to Kat to clear all the negative thoughts and energy out of the room. She was always so positive, even more so than all of them. If there was anything any of them needed that day, it was positivity and the more they focused on it, the more Hayley would want to focus on it, too.  
  


  
_But I’ve been there before_

  
Hayley didn’t know how fast she’d end up falling for Oliver Sykes. When Josh introduced them, she had a feeling what he was trying to do. Though she appreciated it, she wasn’t really ready to start dating again because she was still a little hurt by what Josh did. When Oliver asked her out to lunch, she told him that he was a nice guy but she wasn’t interested.  
  
But Taylor and Jeremy encouraged her to give him a shot. They kept going on about how she could really have fun and maybe he could be the one for her. Maybe he was the one that could brighten her mood and give her the love that she’d always wanted. After much convincing, she finally worked up the nerve to call him back and accept his invitation.  
  
As promised, he took her to a nice little restaurant and they sat outside. For the first time in a long time she decided to dress nice and actually wore a comfortable sundress that had been hanging out in her closet for years. After all, she wanted to make a good impression.  
  
“So what made you finally say yes?” he asked once they got seated at their table.  
  
Hayley crossed her legs and put her hands in her lap. “I decided that maybe going out with you is what I needed. It  _has_  been a while since I’ve gone out and I’m already liking how I’m here and not moaping around in my house.”  
  
“That’s good.” He smiled. “I like how you’re here, too. And I just want to say that you look really beautiful.”  
  
Her cheeks turned pink at the compliment. “Thank you. You look nice yourself.”  
  
Oliver, who actually preferred to be called “Oli”, was the lead vocalist of Bring Me the Horizon. That band once toured with You Me at Six and they’ve collaborated twice, eventually becoming close which explained why Oli was best friends with Josh. Hayley has heard of them before, having heard their name slip out Josh’s mouth a few times when she was still with him. Except because of their busy schedules, she never got to meet them until recently.  
  
She was on a date with her ex-boyfriend’s friend after he left her for someone else. She didn’t really see herself getting to know Oli this way.  
  
Pushing that thought away, she continued to chat with him and enjoy the time they were spending together. He had a way of making her laugh due to his sarcasm and strange thoughts. He was different compared to Josh and she honestly liked these things that set him apart from his friend. Oli didn’t take anyone’s shit and he also had a tendency to be witty. He was confident and the whole time she couldn’t stop blushing because of how he kept showering her with all these nice remarks.  
  
“When Josh told me about you, he had me listen to your band first,” Oli went on. “I couldn’t believe I haven’t heard about you yet because your voice is incredible. Like really, I feel kind of stupid for not listening to your music until now.”  
  
“It’s okay.” Hayley laughed. “I haven’t listened to your music until a few days ago, so that makes two of us. I actually wish Josh told  _me_  to listen to your band before he introduced me to you.”  
  
“By the way, how do you know Josh?” Oli asked. It seemed like he had been wanting to ask that question for quite some time.  
  
That’s when Hayley just stared at him for the next few minutes. She twiddled her thumbs, unsure what to say. Not to mention, she wasn’t even aware that Josh hadn’t told Oli that story yet. She had assumed that he told his friend as a way to get him to talk to her, but apparently that wasn’t the case.  
  
Still, she didn’t want to lie to him. “We...we used to date.”  
  
“Date?” Oli leaned closer, the information capturing his attention. “You guys dated?”  
  
“Yeah,” Hayley mumbled. “We dated for four years and broke up a year ago.”  
  
She didn’t know why she was telling him all this, but the words continued to escape her lips. Oli wasn’t sure what to think about this, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.  
  
“And you two still talk to each other?” he said. “I’m guessing it was a mutual break up then.”  
  
Hayley bit her lip and her mind flashed to that day at the airport. When Josh looked her in the eyes and told her that she wasn’t the one he loved.  
  
“It wasn’t really mutual.”  
  
“So what happened between you guys?”  
  
Maybe it was better if she lied. She had never really told anyone besides Taylor and Jeremy what happened. In fact, she just wasn’t one to talk about her break ups ever and because she didn’t know Oli that well, it made her even more reluctant to tell him. Tell him how she thought Josh was the best thing to ever happen to her. That’s why she agreed to move in with him, why she always went across the ocean, and why she couldn’t look at him when he finally chose Dan over her. All these stupid thoughts were still painful and whenever those memories crossed her mind, tears would form in her eyes. This was no exception.  
  
Oli frowned at her downcast eyes and noticed the tears, making him regret ever asking her. Whatever happened between them was none of his business and obviously very personal to her, so why did he have to know? Before she could speak again, he reached over and tilted her chin up with his hand.  
  
“On second thought,” he said softly. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. Some things are just better left unsaid.”  
  
She gave him a slight smile and nodded as a way to silently thank him. When he took his hand away, she continued to gaze at him while she wiped the tears from her eyes. Then after a few minutes of silence, she stood up, walked around the table to his side, and leaned down to kiss him.  
  
He was more than happy to kiss her back.  
  
And that was it. That was the moment she no longer considered him a stranger. All his actions, all his words, everything about him in that moment made her forget about Josh. By the end of the date, she realized that she really liked him and she wanted to see him again, to which he agreed. They made it to a second date and it became more than just two people seeing each other. They fell in love and she had never been happier because after all these years, she was finally with someone who saw her and only her.  
  
Even if she and Oli were such opposites, that didn’t stop her from loving him. To her, he was the one. Then a year later he took a bigger step and took her to the park where he got down on one knee and revealed to her a diamond ring.  
  
“Hayley Williams, will you marry me?”  
  
“Yes!” she exclaimed. “Yes, I’ll marry you!”  
  
When he slipped that ring on her finger and picked her up to kiss her, she never wanted to let him go. This was her happily ever after and she was filled with nothing but joy.  
  
However, this so-called happily ever after also turned out to be another big mistake.  
  
It was decided that the wedding was going to be in Nashville because Hayley thought it would be nice to have it at her hometown rather than Los Angeles where she was currently living. Oli liked this idea because Sheffield was a little too gloomy sometimes for such a ceremony to take place and he liked Nashville. It was a great place to have a summer wedding and his family and friends didn’t mind flying over there.  
  
The day of the wedding had finally arrived and people were starting to gather in the church. Meanwhile, the bride and groom were still getting ready in their respective dressing rooms. Hayley had a good feeling about the day and she was actually proud of herself for not stressing out or even having some “Bridezilla” moment. Her mother had been extremely helpful throughout the entire weekend and did everything she could to make sure that her daughter was okay and that everything was going according to plan.  
  
Oli was already dressed a lot quicker than Hayley was for obvious reasons. He was standing in front of the mirror adjusting his tie when there was a knock on the door. When he opened it, he found himself looking into the eyes of Lee Malia, the guitarist of the band.  
  
Of course, he was more than that. He was his best friend. At least, he  _used_  to be.  
  
The thing was that Oli didn’t expect him to be on the other side of the door. He didn’t even expect him to be there because he wasn’t invited to the wedding. People who didn’t know much about them would find it odd that he didn’t invite him, but not many knew what had happened before Oli met Hayley.  
  
Before Hayley, Oli and Lee’s relationship had once went beyond friendship when they realized their feelings for each other. Only they were so worried about what other people thought and that resulted in a fallout between the two so it ended after a month. There was a lot of tension after that and Lee decided it was best he leave the band for a bit since they obviously needed space. The others explained to the media that he was taking a break to work on “personal issues” which wasn’t a complete lie and nobody questioned further than that. It had been little over a year since he’d last seen Lee and it brought out all these thoughts and feelings, which left Oli speechless.  
  
“W-what are you doing here?” he breathed. “How did you even know about this?”  
  
“Just because I’ve been gone, doesn’t mean I don’t know what’s going on in your life,” Lee retorted. “The band told me and though I wasn’t invited, I thought I’d be here for a friend.”  
  
Oli smiled and pulled his friend into a hug. As surprised as Lee was to receive this welcome, he reciprocated and also smiled.  
  
“Lee, I just wanna say I’m sorry,” Oli said. “I know things didn’t work out and all, but I shouldn’t have been such an arse and it shouldn’t have taken me this long to say it.”  
  
“Nah, it’s alright,” Lee said as he pulled away. “That was a long time ago. Now look at you. You’re getting married. I just wanted to say congratulations.”  
  
It shocked Oli that he was being so nice to him even after all he’s done. But that’s how Lee was; he never held grudges or said things that were hurtful even when he had a perfectly good reason to. It just made Oli feel like even more of a jerk and he was reminded why Lee was such a great person.  
  
Oli put a hand on his shoulder. “Thanks. It means a lot that you came.”  
  
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Lee chuckled. “Anyway, I gotta go find a seat before they’re all taken. Once again, congratulation.”  
  
He began walking away and Oli watched him leave, only for Lee to turn around again. “And Oli?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“I’m really happy for you. She’s a lucky girl.”  
  
With that, he proceeded to walk down the hall to the where all the other guests were. Oli took a step forward, fighting the urge to run after him as if he was afraid Lee was going to leave him again. He hadn’t seen him in a year and there was so much he wanted to say to him; so much he wanted to do to make things right with him. What was even going to happen after the wedding? Did Lee showing up mean he was coming back to the band or was he going to disappear all over again once it was over?  
  
Oli did not want that to happen ever again. He wanted Lee to stay. He wanted his best friend back in his life. Maybe he even wanted more than that.  
  
Lee still didn’t leave his mind, even as he was standing at the altar waiting for Hayley. He was sweating a lot and was fidgeting to the point where Josh, who was the best man, had to keep him under control.  
  
“You alright?” Josh whispered. “You’re acting kinda off right now and it’s not the kind of odd guys usually act at their wedding.”  
  
“I’m fine, don’t worry about me.” Oli swatted Josh’s hand away from him. From the tone in his voice, Josh sensed something was up. He wasn’t stupid and it wasn’t like he didn’t know when Oli had something on his mind. He had been through this with his friend many times before.  
  
Just as Josh was about to call him out, the Wedding March started playing and all eyes were on the entrance where Hayley would be coming in.  
  
She was beaming as she walked down the aisle, her father proudly walking with her while everyone stared in awe. Her bright orange hair was slightly curled and parted to the side with a floral hair pin. Her dress was a simple satin floor length dress adorned with lace and the white brought out her radiant green eyes and red lips. Not many people were used to Hayley wearing a dress and have commented how nice she looked on the rare occasions she did. This was definitely one of those times where she looked absolutely beautiful in one.  
  
And yes, Oli took a moment to look at her because she  _was_  beautiful. But as breathtaking as she looked, he ended up looking elsewhere. He was actually looking past her to the back where Lee was sitting, which caused Lee to catch Oli staring, so he just waved at him, smiling and nodding. Oli was so busy staring at him that he didn’t realize that Hayley had finally reached the altar and was standing in front of him.  
  
He practically forced himself to break eye contact with Lee and returned to facing Hayley. Mentally slapping himself, he knew that he had to get a grip and stop thinking about Lee. This was all about Hayley, his future wife, and the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. That’s why he proposed to her, wasn’t it? He had thought about marriage for a long time. For a while, he had wanted to find someone he could settle down with and start a family. The right person that he would love until the end of his days. He wanted that with Hayley, didn’t he? But as his eyes shifted to the side to look at Lee once more, he began wondering if that was what he really wanted.  
  
“And do you, Oliver, take Hayley to be your lawful wedded wife to have and behold from this day on, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?”  
  
The minister brought him back to reality and his heart started pounding at the words. His palms were sweating more than ever and his mouth became dry, making the ability to speak a difficult task. He could feel all this eyes staring at him and all the people waiting for him to say those two words he was supposed to say. After taking a deep breath, he knew what he had to do and how he should’ve done something about it a long time ago. Still, it was better late than never and with Lee on his mind again, he opened his mouth.  
  
“I don’t. I can’t marry you.”  
  
A few gasps were heard and many people were whispering into each other’s ears. Lee’s eyes widened at hearing this while Josh looked over at him and couldn’t believe that Oli was really doing this. Then there was Hayley. Her wide grin slowly faded as the words sunk in and it took her back to that moment at the airport again. The same feeling of hurt and confusion.  
  
Her arms fell to her sides, the bouquet slipping out of her fingers and hitting the ground. “What do you mean you can’t marry me? Why can’t you marry me?”  
  
Oli sighed and scratched his head. “Because this whole time I’ve been lying to myself about who I really belong with. After all this time, I didn’t realize that there’s only one person I’ll really love and want to spend my life with. You just aren’t that person and I’m really sorry, but I had to do this before it was too late. I hope one day you’ll forgive me, but right now I have to go.”  
  
She felt a pang in her stomach and wished that all of this was some cruel, sick and twisted joke. Hoping any minute that Oli would surprise her and tell her he didn’t mean it, but instead he walked away from her and headed toward the back where Lee was sitting. Taylor looked about ready to kill Oli, only to be held back by Jeremy. Disappointment and anger were all over the faces of Hayley’s parents, sisters, and friends. Even Josh couldn’t help but feel sorry for her.  
  
“What are you doing?” Lee asked.  
  
“What I should’ve done a year ago,” Oli told him. “All I want right now is to be with you Lee. I might’ve fucked things up before but I don’t ever wanna do that again. Can you give me another chance?”  
  
Lee couldn’t help but shake his head and grin. Oli was such an idiot, but for once he wasn’t so bad after all. “Okay.”  
  
Oli held out his hand. “Now let’s get out of here.”  
  
So Lee took his hand and they both went out the door, with everyone unsure of what to do about the situation. It seemed like the only choice they had was to start leaving the church as well, so people got up out of their seats and began making their way out.  
  
Everyone except Hayley, who still stood at the altar with a blank expression. She felt so numb, so empty. She dropped to her knees and wanted to scream out or cry or  _something_ , but she couldn’t. Jeremy, Taylor, Kat, and her family immediately ran to her side to comfort her, all of them encircling their arms around her. At feeling everyone’s arms surrounding her, she finally broke down and started sobbing. She didn’t even care if her makeup was running down her face or how the tears were staining her dress.  
  
All she cared about was how once again, love had slipped past her fingers.  
  


  
_For all the air that's in your lungs  
For all the joy that is to come_

  
Hayley’s eyes snapped open and she sat up, frantically looking around until she became aware of where she was. Running her hands through her tangled hair, she let out a heavy sigh and sat up. She was engulfed in darkness and when she looked outside the window, the sun had already set. The clock said it was around 6 PM and she rubbed her eyes before stretching her arms out in front of her. It amazed her how long she had slept, but she didn’t feel as drained as she was earlier, meaning all those hours of sleep did her good.  
  
But even though she was well-rested, she was back to the realization that she was still alone. A week ago, she was supposed to get married, only for the man she thought she was supposed to get married to had ran off with someone else. For the second time, she had believed she found someone who seemed so perfect for her, only for them to leave her broken. Josh had left her for Dan. Oli left her for Lee. She had seen the way they looked at the ones they loved. When Josh was around Dan, his eyes would always light up and for that small moment when Oli looked over at Lee, his eyes were shining. Nobody had ever looked at her like that and she knew that look meant true love. That’s what Josh and Oli had. These were two love stories that weren’t hers.  
  
She got out of bed and walked over to the bathroom, switching on the light and turning on the sink. When it was at the right temperature, she began washing her face in an attempt to feel more refreshed. After she was done, she looked in the mirror and cringed at how her eyes were still red and puffy.  
  
 _Maybe I just wasn’t meant to find love._  
  
There were many things she had been blessed with and love just wasn’t one of those things. Maybe that’s how it was supposed to be, even though she didn’t want it to. Her parents had gotten divorced and that probably tainted her idea of it. After all, when that happened she didn’t really believe in love anymore and thought it was destined to never last. Her parents didn’t make it, so why did she think she was ever going to last forever with someone?  
  
Hayley turned on her bedroom light and noticed that the floor was clean of the photos and her wedding dress had been put away. She guessed that one of the guys came in to clean up and she managed to smile a bit at this. They didn’t have to do that for her, but they did it anyway and she was grateful for that.  
  
Their voices could be heard down the hall in the living room and she heard another voice that must belong to Kat, meaning she really  _did_  come over with Bliss. Other than hearing the voices, she also smelled something and her stomach growled at the aroma. She hadn’t been able to swallow food that much for the past few days, but she was hungry at the moment and whatever was cooking smelled delicious.  
  
She thought about opening her door so she could finally get out and walk into that living room. Where Jeremy would be sitting on the couch playing with Bliss while Taylor was watching something on the television, most likely  _Adventure Time_  since that was the only thing he ever watched. Kat would be in the kitchen, making one of her famous dishes that made Hayley’s mouth water and they’d all be so relaxed and content. She was close to joining them, wanting to be apart of that. Wanting to spend time with her close friends and remember that she loved being around them.  
  
But she didn’t walk out and instead took her hand off the doorknob so she could sit back down on her bed. How could she join them after the way she had been treating them that day? When Taylor came over, she made him nearly have a heart attack when he found her on the floor with scissors in her hand. Jeremy tried to comfort her, only for Hayley to demand she be left alone. She had even said that she didn’t want Kat and Bliss to be there because they didn’t have to. They could’ve just left the house, but they didn’t. Not only did they stay, but they did all these things for her that weren’t necessary. Taylor let her cry to him for the hundredth time even if that meant he was also risking his shirt being her own personal tissue, Jeremy hugged her and told her how important she was to them, and Kat had come along with Bliss to make her some food.  
  
They did all these things simply because they loved her to pieces.  
  
Just then, there was a knock on the door but whoever was on the other side opened it anyway and poked their head in.  
  
“Hayles, are you awake?” It was Taylor. She knew it was him before he even showed his face thanks to the curls.  
  
She nodded. “Yeah, I’m awake.”  
  
He poked his head in even further. “Do you mind if we come in?”  
  
“No,” Hayley responded, a smile actually crossing her features. “Of course you guys can come in.”  
  
“Then in that case, you’re in for a surprise,” Taylor enthused.  
  
He finally pushed the door open all the way and it was revealed that he had his acoustic guitar in his hands. Jeremy, Kat, and Bliss were right behind him. This even made Hayley laugh because of the sheer ridiculousness of him having his guitar with him at this moment. Though knowing Taylor, he had planned this all along and was waiting for the right time to do it.  
  
“Remember how a million years ago when I had a Twitter, you tweeted me to come and play a show at your house?” he went on, sitting at the foot of her bed. “Well, since I’m a man of my word and took that request to heart, I thought tonight would be the best time to give you the show you so rightfully deserve. We’re  _all_  going to put on a show for you, actually. Bliss and I are going to duet while Jeremy and Kat are backup vocals.”  
  
Hayley shrieked a little and clapped her hands together, very amused by what she was about to witness. Though curiosity still got the best of her. “What song are you playing?”  
  
“One of our songs,” he answered. “I was tempted to do an N'Sync song, but I felt this one would be better. Okay, ready?”  
  
“I’m ready.” Hayley said.  
  
“Now brace yourself because I’m gonna be singing ‘Hallelujah’.” Taylor set the guitar on his lap. “Like we practiced, guys. 1...2...3...”  
  
He began strumming and Hayley had a feeling she knew why this was his song choice. She sat cross-legged and hugged one of her pillows as he continued to play. Jeremy and Kat sat down next to him with Bliss bouncing in Kat’s lap while she reached out, trying to touch Taylor’s guitar.  
  
“ _Somehow everything’s gonna fall_ ,” he finally sang in a very high pitched voice that made everyone burst out laughing. It was even a little impressive and Hayley gave him a thumbs up, urging him to keep going. Jeremy and Kat started singing as well, though their voices were at a more reasonable pitch and volume as to not hurt Bliss’ ears. Then again, Bliss herself was trying to mimic Taylor’s singing by squealing.  
  
Hayley couldn’t stop giggling with each verse and each chorus that Taylor did. The more the song progressed, the higher his voice seemed to get and more off tune he sang. Jeremy and Kat found it hard to do backup since they were laughing just as much as Hayley. Bliss was just enjoying it all.  
  
It made sense to her why Taylor sang this song to her. When she wrote this song it was all about holding onto faith and never giving up. It was about how things will soon come together and work out in time even when it seems like it’ll never happen. That’s what the guys had been saying to her this whole time and she was finally holding onto their words. When Taylor was finishing up the song, Hayley could help but shed some tears. Only this time they were happier ones.  
  
She pulled all of them into a hug, happy to embrace them after being so distant all week. They all held her tightly, relieved that she was okay and smiling again. Turned out that Taylor’s little idea was a great one after all. Singing her a song was just the kind of fun and silly remedy she needed.  
  
“Thank you, guys,” she said. “Thank you for being here for me.”  
  
They all grinned at her words, almost wanting to tear up themselves. Jeremy was the first to reply before he got emotional. “We love you, Hayley.”  
  
“We’ll  _always_  love you,” Kat added, making sure that Bliss was also giving her Auntie Hayley some affection.  
  
Taylor put his guitar aside so that he could hug back and kissed the top of her head. “No matter what.”  
  
Laughing and smiling, they all stayed like that for a few minutes. Hayley honestly didn’t want to let go of them because for the first time that week she was happy. This was her family. The ones who made her feel safe, the ones who always made her feel better, and the ones who made her realize that yes, she  _was_  loved. She may have had her heart broken for the past few years and maybe one day she will find that special someone. But for now, she was okay. All these people surrounding her?  
  
This was the best kind of love she could ever have.  
  


  
_For all the things that you're alive to feel  
Just let the pain remind you hearts can heal_

  
It’s been months since the wedding.  
  
Oli was in London, taking care of things for Drop Dead. It was almost spring, which meant a new season of clothes that he had to prepare. He was supposed to stop by the store, but he couldn’t do that without getting himself a cup of coffee to help give him some energy. It was going to be a long day and he had to get through it one way or another.  
  
As he was making his way to the coffee shop, he stopped when he saw a familiar face outside a nearby store. He had to a double take because there was no way that was really who he thought it was. Why would they actually be in London, of all places? He had to be seeing things. Moving closer, he squinted his eyes in order to get a better look at them.  
  
She was wearing a red sundress with a denim jacket, carrying a few shopping bags along with her tote. Her hair was longer than he remembered and it wasn’t even her signature orange color anymore to his surprise. Instead of orange hair, she was actually blonde and it was a wonder how he had recognized her even when she looked like a different person. Oli wasn’t seeing things and he ran over to the girl when it became clear that it was Hayley.  
  
“Hayley!” he called out and she turned around. At the sight of Oli, she wasn’t sure how to react but there was no denying she was shocked that he was there. It was even surprising that he had even bothered to go up to her, let alone seem like he was glad to run into her.  
  
She raised an eyebrow. “Oli? Is that you?”  
  
“Yeah, it is,” he said. “I was about to get some coffee when I saw you. What are you doing here?”  
  
Even though she felt this was a strange encounter, she grinned at him and carried on the conversation. There was no reason for her to behave awkwardly because they had been over for months and she had moved on. Their relationship was in the past and she was much happier, so acting weird would make her a total jerk. “Since I’m not touring right now and didn’t want to be at home for most of my time off, I wanted to take a little vacation. So I’m kind of just going all over Europe.”  
  
Oli just nodded. “Oh, sounds pretty adventurous. That’s nice. I’m glad to see that you’re doing so well.”  
  
“Yeah, I’ve been having a lot of fun.” Hayley said, brushing a strand of her hair out of her face. “The other day I even met up with Josh. He’s doing well also.”  
  
“He’s doing really well.” Oli agreed. “I saw him last week and apparently working on new music already.”  
  
“Really? That’s great,” she rejoiced. “But what about you? How are you and Lee doing?”  
  
Oli frowned and rubbed the back of his neck. At seeing how his expression changed and how uncomfortable he looked, Hayley felt guilty for asking and already knew what that meant.  
  
“Lee and I aren’t together anymore.”  
  
Hayley bit her lip. “I’m sorry to hear that.”  
  
“No, it’s okay,” Oli said. “We tried to see if we could give it another shot and it just didn’t work out. We’re still friends, though, and it’s better that way.”  
  
She tried to make him smile again. “As long as you’re both happier now.”  
  
“We are,” he assured her. “Anyway, are you doing anything later? Do you want to get lunch?”  
  
“That’s sweet of you to ask,” Hayley began. “But I’m here with someone else and we’re already having lunch later.”  
  
As if on cue, the door to the store she was waiting nearby opened and out came the person she had been vacationing with. That’s when Oli was astonished to discover that it was yet another familiar face. They pulled Hayley close to them to kiss her and she ran her hands through their brown hair as their lips met.  
  
“Ready to go?” they asked once they broke away.  
  
“Yeah, I am.” Hayley turned to Oli. “Look who I ran into. You said you’ve met him before right?”  
  
“I have,” they said. “Great to see you again.”  
  
“Great to see you, too,” Oli waved. He  _did_  remember who this guy was and seeing that he was with Hayley made him start to agree that this was a small world. “Hayley and I were just catching up, but I really should be heading to the Drop Dead store now. I guess I’ll see you guys some other time.”  
  
She gave Oli a hug. “Alright, it was nice seeing you again.”  
  
Her boyfriend said goodbye as well and Oli waved at them as he began walking away. As he went one way, Hayley’s fingers intertwined with her boyfriend and they went in the other direction.  
  
“How do you feel about seeing him again?” he asked her.  
  
“I feel fine. I even feel pretty good,” she admitted. “We just talked and it was like we’ve always been just friends.”  
  
“Do you still wish you were with him?”  
  
Hayley shrugged. “Not really. My days with him were great, they really were...”  
  
Then she let go of her boyfriend’s hand to link arms with him and lean against his shoulder. “But my days with you are  _amazing_ , Alex Gaskarth.”  
  
He smiled at this and kissed her forehead. As they walked down that sidewalk, he looked at nobody else but her, not worrying about running into anyone or tripping over his own feet. If anybody saw him, they would know for sure that he absolutely loved Hayley like no other. All they would have to do was look at his eyes and right away, they’d notice how they shined whenever he gazed at her.  
  
After all the heartache, after all the times she felt like giving up, and after all the nights she thought she was alone, she finally found someone who gave her the love she deserved.

**Author's Note:**

> And it is finally done! This ended up being way longer than I expected.
> 
> So there you have it. The fic in which I break both Joshley and Hayliver — also known as me breaking my own heart and hurting my babies. I'm so sorry, Hayley.
> 
> But in the end, Alex gives her a better reality. (っ◕‿◕)っ
> 
> Song used: Hate to See Your Heart Break - Paramore
> 
> Hope you liked it!
> 
> \- Aliya


End file.
